The Silence Gets Too Loud

When I joined college and had to face new experiences by myself with no one really there to help me, it made me realize that you do need people around you. It's difficult to be alone after a point. It's difficult to keep everything inside us, so you do need people around you.

When I say "people around me," I don't necessarily mean someone to always talk to or listen to. When I say "people around me," what I actually mean is - people who are close to me, people who I care about just simply existing. They need not always talk or listen to me, but the fact that I know there is someone out there who I can go to with my problems gives me huge relief.

I remember reading this one line - "When nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?" It made me think that maybe I don't like being alone; maybe I just like being at peace

"The silence is too loud." For a long time, I had no idea what it meant because how can silence be loud? I remember the first time someone said this to me, and I was like, "I'm not sure what you mean," because back then, I used to love the silence. I used to love being alone.

I was, and still am, a very antisocial person, so loneliness, for a long time, brought me peace. It made life seem easy; it made surviving look easy. I guess a part of me liked being alone because that meant you could completely isolate yourself and avoid conflicts.

No matter how much I love being alone, after a point in time, it gets mentally exhausting. I mean, there are so many thoughts running inside me that at times I'm not sure about what I should do. Times like these make you realize the importance of having caring people around you. It's not healthy to keep everything within yourself. Speak up about your feelings to your friends or family, or even your stuffed toys because speaking will free up the heaviness in your heart. And yes, it's not the easiest thing to do, but there's always a first in everything, right?

Whenever it feels like too much, maybe just go out for a nice cup of coffee and enjoy yourself. Yes, silence does get too loud at times, but that does not mean you are alone. You always have yourself. Stop thinking people don't care about you because a few really do care, so speak to them about how you feel. If speaking feels like too much, write about it, and if all of this doesn't help, how about we rely on some good food?